Real secrets of reality TV pawn shows revealed

One of the newer entries in the unending stream of pawn shows, Hardcore Pawn: Chicago, started out its latest program this way:

The first person on this episode wants to sell cemetery plots, and although they are worth the money, nobody wants to buy a plot at a pawn shop. Randy knows that being buried alongside his brother Wayne would surely be hell. No sale!

We have had customers offer burial plots at our Maui pawn shop, and we turned them down, but not because nobody shops for gravesites at a pawn shop — although that’s true enough.

No, the real reason is that pawn loans are made on portable collateral. That’s why Kamaaina Loan And Cash For Gold will give you money for your gold or silver coin but not for an equally valuable spot at the memorial gardens.

Now, the secret is revealed. Although it is not impossible that Hardcore Pawn: Chicago really was offered a chance at a plot, it’s much more likely that this little incident was dreamed up by screenwriters.

Get out! Do you mean to tell us that reality TV is scripted?

Yes. If you subscribe to iMDB Pro, you can read off the names of the scriptwriters. And not only for Hardcore Pawn: Chicago. For all of them.